Full but not Fulfilled!

After returning from traveling, I was day 8 in mandatory hotel quarantine. I managed to remain sane although time was dragging.

I’m a woman who has always loved her food. I enjoy my food but I don’t enjoy cooking. I do some cooking because I can’t eat without cooking, but cooking is not just my passion! So one plus for me being in quarantine was not having to cook; food was brought to my door, I would get it from the hotel worker at my door, bring it in and have a feast where no one was watching, just me, furniture and food! I would eat and throw the containers away, not washing dishes! Great, I could do with some laziness, however, that came with its own disadvantages. Though I was enjoying my lazy meals, the food was not something that I would normally choose to eat when I’m at home because I have my own recipes. I was served with fancy meals like, to name just a few;

Lemon-infused Scottish salmon with garlic, paprika-roasted kale

British beef burger with Lancashire Bomb melted cheese, smoked streaky bacon and chilli mayo, served with hand-cut chips, rib-eye steak, baby vine tomatoes and tenderstem broccoli, served with a green peppercorn sauce chicken shawarma, Tabbouleh, Batta Hara (spicy potatoes), garlic mayo

and chilli sauce, Penne with cherry tomato crème and green chillie. Sounds fancy, right? I was however, missing my creamy soft cassava meal infused nshima (prepared with cornmeal) served with fried Tilapia fish in hot tomato sauce, steamed kale in mature tomatoes and onions full of vitamins, hmmmm, yummy.

Although I enjoyed eating the hotel food and got full after eating my lazy meals, I didn’t get the full satisfaction that I had eaten. I just killed the hunger. I still longed to eat something that I love, my delicacies. I realised that eating is not just about getting full, but about loving and enjoying what you eat. That longing was there because I knew that there was something else better for me, not for everyone. For others, these must have been game changer meals, something deeply loved and longed for and they must have enjoyed the food wholeheartedly!

What about career or life in general? I guess the same principle applies. We are all passionate about something despite the many activities around. However, a lot of us are filling our lives with fancy things just to get full. We choose fancy careers for status but we are left empty at the end of our life. Day in day out, we fill our life with things that don’t give us full satisfaction. We work at jobs that leave us feeling that there’s still more to life. It’s ok to work at a job while you’re building what you’re called to do, but don’t die there! We go into relationships that leave us feeling that we deserve better than that. We amass material things that leave us wanting to go and get more. The fuller we get with what is not meant to be, the hungrier we become for what we are meant to have but do not have. For some of us it’s God we need in our lives. The more we fill the God space in our hearts with earthly things, the emptier we become and though full, we still feel empty until we fill that space with the rightful owner.

We all have been created for a specific purpose. As long as we don’t walk in our purpose, our reason for being, we will remain unfulfilled. We somehow become immune to the pain that comes from disappointing ourselves by working at the wrong things, and we stop listening to our hearts, or our situation appears normal because we have not woken up to the real person within, the one who knows our purpose. Let’s pursue what we were created for and get the satisfaction and fulfilment we need in life. Be true to yourself and to God. It’s never too late to step into your God ordained purpose. Even at midlife, you can have the miraculous courage to change, because aging is a blessing not a curse! You can stage your comeback! Be as you really are!

What you have inside of you is not just for you, it is meant to be used to deliver someone you have been sent to reach. I like examples from the book of wisdom, the bible. Here are a few examples;

1. Moses had a staff in his hand that he used to shepherd his father in law’s sheep. He also stammered when he spoke. It was that staff and the stutter that God used to speak to Pharaoh to get the children of Israel out of bondage.

2. David was a shepherd boy who looked after his father’s sheep. He had a sling and five stones. With those, he faced Goliath and defeated him. But this was not about him, but the deliverance of the Israelites.

3. Gideon had a threshing machine in the winepress, and he was full of fear. God knew he was full of fear, but he also knew that fear was just something Gideon acquired because of the circumstances he was in. God knew there was strength in him, and he asked him to go in the strength he had. This was not about Gideon but about saving the Israelites.

4. Apostle Paul was educated in religious doctrine at his time that he worked for the pharisees and was involved in persecuting Christians. He was zealous about what he did. God used that Zeal and channelled it to what he called him to do. Paul was going in the wrong direction until he was awakened on the road to Damascus. This was not about Paul. It was about the deliverance of the gentiles.

All these men were working at something and gained skills from there when they met with their life’s purpose. Moses had a staff, David had a sling and stones, Gideon had fear and a threshing machine, Paul had a doctrinal education and Zeal, what do you have? Or you don’t know that you don’t know what you have and need an awakening? Whose sheep are you shepherding? The people you’re meant to reach and touch with the gift you have are waiting for you. Will you keep them waiting forever? I dare you to step out in faith and be the you the world has been waiting for. Whatever that call is for, you were born to make an impact on somebody’s life. Moses, David, Gideon and Paul all ended up as fulfilled leaders once they realised their purpose. As you build others up, you get built up too as you really are!

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